Vite for Tigger for President in 2012

Tigger for President in 2012

Hewhewhewww! I am the candidate from the 100 acre wood party which believes in equality for all with the exception of those who have committed acts of visual atrocities against man such as driving a Nissan Cube or having a comb-over. They will be exiled to the South Pole.

Tiggers Platform:

Tigger is hugely committed to resolving our current energy problem and believes the best way to deal with crude oil is to teach it some manners. No one ever complains about polite oil.

On balancing the budget, Tigger knows, as do we all, if you spend all your money on Fur Wax, borrowing money from Grub Beetles to buy more is not the correct thing to do. His solution: Buy less Fur Wax.

Health Care: Tigger will support "Tiggercare", an inexpensive health care alternative providing free Chicken Noodle soup with marshmallows and whipped cream at no charge to any person in need. Tigger believes this alone will save over 10 quadzilliontrillion dollars each year alone, enough to allow the federal government to buy 100 monkeys for every family in America!

On education, Tigger feels we need more emphasis on math skills to compete in the global economy noting that "5 out of every 3 people have trouble with fractions."

Unemployment: Tigger feels there is no acceptable level of unemployment. "Unemployment will become a thing of the past during my leadership as we surge forward to become the world's leader in "Stripey Bouncy Bits" cereal production and distribution."

On the economy, Tigger uses common sense and does not trust economists, believing they are only put here to make weathermen look more accurate.


If you have a question for Tig,
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Tigger for president

Tig has been all over the world campaigning.
If you have a Tigger picture you would like to share, send it here!



MORE ABOUT TIG:
Tig is an avid outdoors man and as Tiggers are so famously fierce, Tootsie Rolls dipped in Peanut Butter are his favorite prey. Once in a while, fishing helps relax a tuckered Tigger after a long day on the campaign trail. His bait of choice: Jelly Beans covered with marshmallows.

In 2011, Tig became the first Tigger to ever orbit the earth. Click here to view this historic event!

 

 
On his rivals for the 2016 Presidency  

 

Hillery Clinton: Tigger thinks her fashion sense is a lot like her common sense. It means well, it is just not very appealling. Although Tigger does like the possibility of her wardrobe looking more like Tigger in the future... Orange and Black. Hewhewhewheeeewwww!!!

Sorry Hill. Just a joke. Please don't delete me.

Rick Santorum
Bill! Put the intern down and go BACK to your room!
   

 

Donald Trump: Hey look! It's "Cousin It's" Daddy! But seriously, anyone that wears a hamster butt on his head can't be all bad. I don't think Melania really wants him to win because she would have to move to a smaller house and travel on Hair Force One. Hewhewhewheeewww!!

Oh. Just kidding Don. Please dont eat me.

Rick Santorum
He is either going to say a naughty word or he's having trouble tooting!
   

 

Bernie Sanders: Is this guy still alive? Tigger felt the "Bern" once. Let me tell ya. Jelly Beans and Chili do not mix well! Heweweweeewww!

Oh. Sorry Bernie. Please don't get your oldness all over me.

Rick Santorum
He look everybody! Albert Einstien's Grandpa is still alive!
   
   

On his rivals for the 2012 Presidency


Rick Santorum: I loved this guy in "Sienfield".

 



Rick Santorum
"What's up with that?"


Mitt Romney: I want to challenge him to a game of checkers but I do not have $10,000 to bet on the game, however I do have some nice pocket lint and bag of half eaten Gummies to wager!

 

Mitt Romney
"Yeah, I DO look pretty great!"


Newt Gingrich: My friend Owl looks like this when he is irregular.

 


Mitt Romney
"I told you 1000 times, NO green jellybeans!"




Barack Obama: He will make the most bestiest Vice President ever!


Mitt Romney
"Tiggercare for everyone!"


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